Tee for two
by RoadrunnerGER
Summary: Deakins and Cragen enjoy their day off, but trouble is lurking... :D Come in to find out. :D


**Tee for two  
**

by RoadrunnerGER

_Disclaimer_: No, I still don't own Law & Order: CI or SVU. No such luck…

A/N: My cousin inspired me to write this oneshot. He had this problem! LOL Have fun. :) Thanks to _JO_ for inspiration and beta reading.

xxx

"What a great day for a nice eighteen hole game," Jimmy Deakins said with an appreciative look at the cloudless blue sky.

"Yeah," Don Cragen replied, steering the golf cart over to the teeing area.

When he stopped they got out and Deakins chose a place for his tee. He placed a ball on it and chose his club. Then he assumed hitting position and swung the wood.

_Swooosh._

The ball flew and flew and flew…

"Wow," Cragen said. "That was a great shot."

Deakins smiled to himself. "And you'll beat me anyway," he chuckled.

Cragen shrugged and put his tee and ball down to make his shot.

_Swooosh._

It landed not too far away from Deakins' ball.

"As I said," the Major Case captain teased. "You'll win again."

"We're playing the first hole, Jimmy."

"Yeah."

So they climbed back into the cart and drove over to their balls. As Deakins' did not fly as far as Cragen's it was Deakins' turn to play.

Directly from the fairway the shot was more difficult, but he managed it well. His ball landed on the inner edge of the green. Cragen made his shot but missed. It landed on the border of the rough, still a few yards from the green away.

"Dammit," he grumbled.

They went down to the green with the cart, then they chose their putters.

Deakins carefully lined up his putt. Lightly he sat the putter down behind the ball, a soft swing… It rolled over towards the hole, became slower and fell.

"Great!" Cragen shouted. "You're par!"

He took his club and had to hit a bit stronger to play it onto the green. The direction was good, but he missed the hole. He had to hit a second time and now was one shot behind.

For the second hole they needed six shots each, for the third five and eight. So Cragen was two shots ahead now. When they reached the next teeing area they had to wait. Four other players were already there and two had still to shoot.

"You have a new driver, right, Don?" Deakins asked.

"Yeah, I do," Cragen confirmed and held the wood up for his friend to look at. Deakins took it from him and studied the 1 wood.

"That's a good one," Deakins mused.

"…if we can play the 6th hole without any loss today," Cragen caught a part of the other players' conversation. One of them chuckled, "I brought some extra balls just in case."

"What's the matter with hole 6?" Cragen asked them.

"The balls are vanishing," the man who had chuckled replied. "When we come to the second shot they're gone…"

Cragen frowned, as did Deakins. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

While the other players went down the fairway to continue, the two captains had to wait. They sat in the shadow of their cart because the sun was burning now.

"Balls don't just vanish," Deakins mused. "Someone must be taking them away."

"I bet they were just joking."

Once they finished hole 5 they drove to the teeing area of hole 6. Both men took in the fairway. There was nothing strange to see.

"Okay, let's play."

Cragen bowed to set the tee and hit, Deakins followed. Then they put their woods into their bags and climbed into the cart. When they drove down to where the balls should have been, they could not find them.

"That's strange," Deakins said and Cragen agreed.

They kept searching, but there were no balls to find. So they took two new ones to finish the hole. They paused at the next teeing area when more players arrived.

"The mystery fairway…" one remarked. "Maybe we should skip this hole the next time."

"Yeah," a woman giggled. "Might be better."

"That's really strange," Cragen said. He grinned at his friend. "Wanna check it out?"

"Yeah," Deakins answered with determination. "Finally some cop work, not just shoving papers around and kissing some politician's butt."

Cragen chuckled.

"Let's do it right," he declared and laid out his plan to Deakins.

xxx

"When will the first players come?" Deakins asked.

It was the following Saturday and they were sitting in a green tent near the middle of fairway six to wait and see what would happen to the balls that landed in this area.

"Usually in about half an hour," Cragen answered.

He opened his thermo mug to take a sip. Today it was not quite warm, but if he drank too much he would have to leave the tent and he wanted to avoid that.

"You like a sandwich, Jimmy?" he offered.

"What's that? Tuna? Great, Don. Thank you."

He took and consumed it.

For a while they sat in silence, then Cragen tugged on his fellow captain's jacket. Deakins followed his nod with his view and discovered some players in the teeing area.

_Feels like being a little boy again,_ Deakins thought. He chuckled. _I remember how I sat with my best friend Joe in our tree house, spying on the neighbor because we were convinced she was a witch._

"What is it, Jimmy?"

"Just some memories," Deakins chuckled.

_Swooooosh. Plop… plop…_

The ball rolled a bit, then it lay still on the grass.

"Okay," Cragen whispered. "It's showtime."

They stared at the ball, but nothing happened.

_Swooooosh._

Another ball landed on the green.

"Come on…." Deakins conjured the thief. "Come on… show yourself…"

"There," Cragen breathed, pointing at some bushes on the other side of the fairway. "See the leaves move?"

"Yeah… and the grass of the rough shivering."

There was something red between the plants and then a fox made a beeline for the balls, took first one, then the other and vanished as fast as he had run out of his cover.

"Oh my," Cragen said. "A fox. What is a fox doing with the balls?"

Deakins shrugged.

_Swoooooooosh._

One more ball fell to the green. And, just a few seconds later, the fox showed up again.

"Hey yey yey!" Cragen shouted and jumped out of the tent.

The fox stopped, stared at the big man that ran towards it, screaming, waving his arms. It looked quite irritated. But then it grabbed the ball and ran.

"Stupid thing!" Cragen yelled. "What do you want with the ball! You can't eat it."

He was still dancing and shouting on the green when the other golfers came down the hill.

"Hey!" one of them demanded. "Where do you have our balls?"

"What?" Cragen looked startled. "I don't…"

"Yes, give them to us. How dare you take our balls?"

"But I…"

"He doesn't have them," Deakins threw in, striding towards them.

"You belong to him?" one man asked.

"Yes. We've been on a stakeout." Deakins produced his gold shield. Inwardly he grinned. _I can't deny I know this idiot. I can hardly believe he's acting like the doctors let him out of the asylum on a weekend pass. How embarrassing!_

He lifted his camera and pushed some buttons, then he offered them all a look at the display. There they could see the fox, a ball in its mouth.

"Let's call a hunter when we're back at the clubhouse," one of the players stated. "Thanks for the investigation."

"You're welcome," the captains said.

They exchanged one look, chuckled and went to gather their stuff.

xxx

The criminals played nice with the city, so the next weekend saw Cragen and Deakins back at the golf course. When they approached fairway six, they met some other players.

"There were several traps set," one said. "You know, the ones with the iron jaws that catch a paw and break it."

_Oh my Gooodness,_ Cragen thought. _The poor animal._

Deakins harbored the same feelings. _And we're responsible if it has to suffer. We discovered it. The poor thing._

"It didn't help, though," the man continued. "I've watched it. One guy was playing and hit a trap with the ball. The trap snapped shut and the ball bounced to another trap and the next, till they all were shut. And then? The fox came and took the ball."

Cragen and Deakins grinned at each other. _Good,_ they thought. _It will live._

"And what's going on today?" Deakins asked. He had spotted something moving down on the fairway.

"They got a hot vixen," one told him. "One in heat. They tethered her out on the fairway to lure the male out. Then they'll get him."

Deakins and Cragen exchanged a look. Would that work?

Together with the others they stood and waited. From time to time, one guy shot a ball but the fox did not take that bait. It did not take the bait of the vixen in heat either. At least not so far.

Then, suddenly, Cragen spotted the red flash.

_Wooosh._

It ran over to the vixen. They were dancing around each other. Then it looked as if they would mate with each other.

But a few seconds later, two red spots vanished in the rough.

The two police captains looked at each other and burst out laughing.

xxx

"What about hole six, Don?" Deakins asked as they drove over with their cart. "They spent the whole week hunting that fox down, but there's still no trace of it."

"Don't worry about it stealing our balls. I think I found a good solution."

"So far nothing's helped," Deakins grinned. "They were shooting, shouting, running after it with clubs… it was always faster."

"This time we'll win," Cragen said with a mysterious smirk.

Grinning, Deakins tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at him. They took their woods, put down the tees and Deakins was about to lay a ball on it, when Cragen stopped him.

"Take this one," he offered him one of his own on the flat hand.

Deakins smiled curiously but took it. He hit and it flew and flew… They saw it land somewhere in the middle of fairway six. Cragen's ball followed.

"Okay, then let's go," Cragen said, still grinning, put his driver back in the bag and climbed behind the steering wheel. "C'mon."

So Deakins joined him and they drove down the hill.

As they approached the balls, they saw a red flash shoot over the green. There was their _friend_ the fox. It took the ball, stopped short… and spit it out. It looked indignantly and strolled back between the bushes.

"What the hell…?" Deakins asked, staring first at the ball, then at his friend and back. "What have you done with these balls?"

"I had it in my secret weapon overnight," Cragen grinned. "It wasn't easy to get. When I spotted it, Stabler was just about to pour it out."

"What is it?"

"I put the balls into coffee," Cragen explained, "Munch's coffee. No one can drink that stuff… so, why should the fox be an exception?"

Deakins stared at him incredulously. Then he burst out with laughter. Cragen laughed with him until their stomachs were hurting.

This time they could finish their game without interruption.

**The End**


End file.
